The house is an insult [in London]

Hi Landlady,

I’m going away for about 2 weeks starting from tomorrow 22nd September 2015. Could you please make sure that the leak in the bathroom – the one I have informed you of two months ago- is sorted and all the humidity that it has caused to the walls removed by the time I come back? I’ll make sure that you receive my October rent as soon as I come back, that is to say after the 8th October.

Hope you don’t mind the delay.


The Lodger.


Hi Lodger,

Thank you for your text message.

I have found a builder to carry out extensive building works for me, which will include total demolishment of the shower room area. As a result, I have no option but to serve you with one month notice.

Please can you vacate the property by the 22nd October 2015.


The Landlady


Ad on Gumtree: Crystal Palace. Single. Modern flat. 25m to London Bridge/Victoria, 35m Shoreditch. Bills included


Hi Landlady,

I would be interested in seeing more photos of the flat in order to understand the furniture and walls conditions. The bathroom – shower/bath area – and the bedroom would interest me the most as the picture of the kitchen is already quite clear in your ad. If the flat is available from the 22nd October, I would be very interested in arranging a visit after the 8th October as I’m currently away from London. I’m a freelance architect and writer. Here is my phone number if you have some time to send further views of the flat […]

Thanks for your time and consideration.

Best regards,

The House Seeker

Hi House Seeker,

Thank you for replying to the ad, but I have to say that among probably more than 80 messages I received from people interested in the single and in the double, yours stood out as I’ve never been asked for pictures of my shower/bath, state of my walls and furniture… My home is in excellent condition, everything is in top shape, but I would recommend you to find a luxury flat to rent, as you seem quite fussy and clueless in regards to the expectations you have for the budget you’ve got.

 I’m not interested in freelancers because usually the word “freelancer” means unemployed. I work all day and I find unfair to be paying expensive heating bills for someone to spend all day in cosy while I’m working hard to pay for their comfort. I also advertised a room to live, not an office.

 By own experience reading loads of emails, most of the times when someone does not mention vital information, it is because they are deliberately hiding it. You did not mention your age at all. I would guess you are older than the age range I’m accepting. No sure why someone of a certain age are still looking for a single, small room in a shared housing instead of already having your own place, but I’m definitely not interested to know at all.

 As if is already clear, my home is not for you. Go find a 5 star hotel.


 The Landlady



Ad on Gumtree: Room in flatshare – Crystal Palace / Gipsy Hill

We have decided to rent out our living room as we never use it. There is still a dining table in there so maybe some times we might like to eat in there, but that would only be breakfast and dinner in the room and we would ask your permission first. 

The tent has been furnished with drawers, sleeping stuff and a chair. However during festival season I might need the sleeping bag for a few days and the tent but we should have a sofa by then which you can sleep on instead. There is a shared bathroom and kitchen and a communal garden. 

We are located between Gipsy Hill and Crystal Palace. The room is £550 a month plus bills which are about another £80.

$_86 $_87

Wishing for a house in decent living conditions has become an insult.

To what extent the demand of Lodgers, Tenants and House Seekers may seem senseless and that of a Landlord/Landlady acceptable? Placing a tent in the living room is considered licit but asking for the house to have appropriate minimum living standards is not.

Is it possible to get offended via email?

If the sender’s request is not to be considered pertinent by the recipient, he/she will then have the virtual right to build a story around the sender persona and freely throw darts at a faceless target.

I wonder if paying rent for inadequate housing conditions is not itself an offence. Perhaps the London housing crisis should be solved by making a reflection on our way of living always keeping in mind that everything is covered by a roof is not a home. The ground on which we walk in London is not more valuable than any other soil as the air that we breathe is everywhere the same.

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